A Thanksgiving Shoutout to the R.E.A.L.® Community

I remember the moment I began to believe in the power of R.E.A.L.® Discussion. 

It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving in 2013: Grandfriends’ Day in my eighth grade classroom. The kids had decided they wanted to show their grandparents a R.E.A.L.® Discussion, and I had pulled together a packet of primary sources related to the first Thanksgiving. I remember going into that day feeling relieved: the kids would carry the day instead of my running a dog-and-pony show!

The discussion wasn’t perfect, but it was authentic. Every child talked. They related, used evidence, asked questions, and listened to each other. They showed up prepared and stopped to take notes. They managed their time without me – and they ended with shout-outs, thanking each other for bringing up ideas that had helped them see a new perspective. They ran all of the R.E.A.L.® routines effortlessly, as if by muscle memory, and I smiled remembering how clunky these conversations had seemed even a month ago. A case study in intentional practice leading to mastery, indeed.

As we wrapped up class, a grandfather raised his hand. “Wow! That was extraordinary! Truly. You all did a better job than my Board of Directors does at my company. I can’t wait for you to run the world.” Other grandparents jumped in (they kept interrupting each other, which the kids thought was wildly entertaining): 

…“I wish you could teach this to Congress!” 

…“I wish we could do this at our Thanksgiving table tomorrow.” 

…“What would the world be like if this is how we talked to each other?”

…“We need this in every school in our country tomorrow!”

…“No offense, Anna, but I have never heard you talk in a class I’ve visited on Grandfriends’ Day … and now it’s been, what, nine years of them?! Your voice and ideas were beautiful and you were so confident!”

I felt the unadulterated joy of an exhausted first-year teacher encountering success at semester-end – and sent everyone on their way. When the kids came back after break and we got ready for our next R.E.A.L.® Discussion, one boy said: “Can I just say I didn’t realize we were learning skills for jobs and stuff with R.E.A.L.®? Like, I thought it was just for books.” A girl who was widely known to want to be a Supreme Court Justice said: “I know. Like when someone said that thing about Congress I was like THIS IS MY FUTURE!” A quieter voice piped up: “Yeah but also I don’t even know what I want to be and I feel like R.E.A.L.® is still helpful already. Even in little things – like, I’m a more respectful fighter with my brother.”

This made me smile even more widely than I did on Grandfriends’ Day. In that moment, I realized: R.E.A.L.® is so much bigger than my classroom. Eli was exactly right: R.E.A.L.® is not only about teaching kids academic skills for better discussions about literature and history … it is preparation for life and leadership. Discussion is how the most meaningful parts of the human experience – like love, friendship, faith, professional impact, community, democracy – actually happen. Kids deserve to know this as they practice discussion skills daily (as adults: we need to do a better job telling them!).

Every Thanksgiving, I feel grateful for that classroom of students and grandparents who helped me dream bigger. And in the intervening decade of building R.E.A.L.®, my gratitude has grown exponentially. It now extends to the thousands of teachers and tens of thousands of students who have used R.E.A.L.® Discussion. Their on-the-ground feedback, experiences, and brilliant ideas – and generosity in sharing them – have strengthened our programs and our community. Their continual discussion about discussion and commitment to what we call “pedagogical pioneering” – the project of developing the first research-based approach to explicitly teach and assess face-to-face discussion skills in school – is inspiring, authentic, and proof of why lifelong learning matters.

I am also grateful for the generosity of spirit and intellect I have found among leaders in education and social impact: their hard-earned wisdom, expertise, and tough-as-nails questions have helped me chart the “hockey stick” path for this fledgling organization. I left my full-time work in schools – which I loved and, if I’m honest, still miss! – because I felt called to this mission, compelled by the question of: “If I didn’t do it, then who would?” I stumbled into social entrepreneurship, but I have survived because of other leaders who help me think differently in the challenging moments. 

So, this Thanksgiving, my shout-outs are to everyone who has ever shared your thoughts with us at R.E.A.L.®. Thank you for your perspectives, questions, and great-big-ideas. They have taught me so much and kept me going, day after day, as I pursue the dream of providing discussion skills instruction for every young person growing up in our tech-centric, polarized world. Together, and through our extended conversation, we have kept the faith: by teaching discussion skills today, we empower the next generation to build a better tomorrow. 

Here’s to another decade of real discussions ahead – starting with those around your Thanksgiving table this week!