Teacher Feature: Anastacia Ike-Foreman on Teaching Listening as Core to Discussion
Thank you to Anastacia Ike-Foreman for sharing her R.E.A.L. life with us! Anastacia is a seventh and tenth-grade English teacher at Tarbut V’Torah Community Day School (TVT) in Irvine, CA. She shared her perspective that listening is the heart of discussion and that structured dialogue helps her students move beyond black‑and‑white thinking toward more nuanced critical reasoning. This interview has been lightly edited for clarity.
Name: Anastacia Ike-Foreman
Hometown: Costa Mesa in Orange County, California (though I spent 10 years in Charlotte, North Carolina and Rock Hill, South Carolina).
Current School: I teach seventh- and tenth-grade English at Tarbut V’Torah Community Day School, an independent Jewish day school in Irvine, California.
Can you describe yourself as a student, in three words or phrases?
Undiagnosed ADHD, very talkative, and a struggling reader.
Who was your favorite teacher and why?
My third-grade teacher, Miss Plumbo, was my favorite because every day after recess, she would bring us in and read us a picture book by an author like Tomie dePaola or one with beautiful illustrations. As a kid who didn’t really like reading words on a page, I really engaged with this form of reading. She brought those stories to life by reading them to us. I really liked her creative teaching style.
When it comes to discussion, what is your “why”? What feels compelling and important about teaching these particular skills?
Although it’s a discussion, I think the magic is in the listening, because it helps us learn about each other, about who we are, and to respect and appreciate each other for our differences and individuality. Academically, discussion is a very important tool because it allows students to put their ideas together on the spot, creating meaning by going deeper than they ever would have if they were to think through the process individually.
Anastacia Ike-Foreman, Tarbut V’Torah Community Day School,
When it comes to discussion, there is a piece of humanity there: seeing the state of things in our world, looking at social media, looking at how people interact in all forms of media, watching my own family have their crazy discussions, and then thinking, Could we come to a place of understanding each other? Could we come to a place where we actually get somewhere and learn from each other, rather than proving a point in a civil way?
That was sort of my big a-ha. I started by taking Deep Listening, a program by the Stanley King Institute, which I found very helpful. I had many kids coming to me and talking to me, and I was wondering, “How do I help them?” I realized it was more about listening than fixing anything. And so, fast-forward: coming back to school, I thought, What if I could get kids to listen to each other? What if I listened better to my family? What if society started listening to each other?
Although it’s a discussion, I think the magic is in the listening, because it helps us learn about each other, about who we are, and to respect and appreciate each other for our differences and individuality. Academically, discussion is a very important tool because it allows students to put their ideas together on the spot, creating meaning by going deeper than they ever would have if they were to think through the process individually.
And I think that, especially, my middle school students have a hard time seeing things in black and white. They say, here is my point – ta-da! Discussion helps them to develop their critical thinking skills and challenge each other’s and their own ideas. Especially in literature, it’s crucial to move away from this concept of what is the right answer and toward considering all the possible answers. There’s room for more than one truth when it comes to literature and the humanities. You can hold onto your perspective and still hold space for someone else’s experience. Two things can be true.
I think that’s really well said! What would you say your two or three top learning goals are for your seventh graders? What do those goals look like for your tenth graders?
With my seventh graders, my biggest goal is to help them ask questions respectfully. Asking questions helps them move beyond black-and-white thinking and dig deeper into what the other person is thinking. For example, they can ask themselves, “Did I hear the other person correctly?” and “Where did that person get the evidence to come to that place?”
This week, one of my kids responded to a comment with “I disagree.” I said, “actually let’s try that again. Ask them a question.” And she said, “Okay, well, you said this, and I just, I don’t see how you came to that understanding.” The other person said, “That’s not what I meant to say. What I meant was …” It was this ‘aha moment’ for everyone. Asking questions gives the other person a chance to rephrase what they’re saying, which is a huge skill, and then reach a point of reasoning.
I think it’s really cool to have those moments, debrief them, and then say, next time, come from a perspective, enter with curiosity, rather than immediately getting upset that somebody disagreed with what you thought.
What about for your 10th graders? What does discussion look like in terms of their learning goals?
With the tenth graders, I think asking questions and listening are still the main goals, but they look different from those in seventh grade. They’re practicing building on their own ideas or jumping in with their own evidence in response to what someone else says. And when someone asks a question or introduces a piece of evidence, the tenth graders take time to explore it, rather than just acknowledging that someone spoke and then moving on. Sometimes discussions can sound like, “Okay, now I speak and bring up a new thing.” And I’ll say, no, let’s pause. Let’s take that apart a little bit before moving on to what someone else has to say. Because we’re going to miss a lot of really insightful conversations if the students keep bouncing around.
Another big thing with them is the evidence piece. I’ve explained that bringing in evidence—actually turning to the same page and reading the passage together—isn’t just a protocol. Just because you read something and interpreted it a certain way doesn’t mean everyone else will interpret it the same way.
Going back to the page and seeing it in context gives everyone a chance to understand how someone else is reading that evidence, which can lead to a more meaningful conversation. You might say, “I saw it this way, but could it also mean this?” So instead of just taking what someone says at face value, we pause and do an “evidence check.” That slows things down and helps everyone really think.
I think that the practice of slowing down and considering the evidence is really preparing them for the real world. They’re going to be handed a ballot one day and told, “These are the facts.” But I want them to have the instinct to pause and say, “Hold on, let’s look a little closer.” It’s about learning to think for yourself, not just accepting something because someone else said it.
This type of practice is also an important skill for navigating AI. The world has changed so quickly – even compared to when we used to talk about critical thinking or media literacy five or ten years ago. Now we have to ask, “Why is the algorithm feeding me this?” AI systems are built on data, and that data always carries bias. So we can’t just take everything AI produces as fact. We have to slow down, question what we’re seeing, and notice what might be shaping it. I love the idea of slowing down and focusing — of really tackling issues rather than just checking a box.
Take us back to the first R.E.A.L. Discussion you led. What were you worried about going into that first discussion?
I’m going to step back even farther, before even starting a discussion method at all. My fear was losing control, not being the one guiding them, and having them devolve into chaos as they all talk over each other, start totally misinterpreting things, and lose track of our skill focus. To be honest, the biggest thing was “I’m not going to have control over what I need them to get.” That was probably my biggest fear.
I think that’s a pretty common one. How did that fear shift or change, or that perception change? Are there systems that you have developed to be able to navigate that?
Yes, I’ve definitely developed systems for that. I think R.E.A.L. provides a well-structured approach that eliminates much of that fear. But I will also say my perspective completely changed. I shifted from feeling like “I need these kids to get here” to “these kids are actually teaching me things.” Their process of making meaning is more important than what I’ve already discovered or what I want them to know. Because if I just shut up and let them talk, they blow my mind every time. I’ve learned that the less I talk, the more they learn, the more they grow, and the more they blow me away with things I had never thought of.
And that’s not to say that I completely lose track of the discussion question. I still guide them back to the discussion question in a common text, but in terms of thinking, they might come up with something that hasn’t been considered before, something more relevant to our context today.
Can we zoom in a little bit deeper on the topic of the kids blowing you away? Is there a particular moment that comes to mind that you’ve experienced when a student had a breakthrough in discussion?
Yes. This one is a little heavy, but last year, when we were discussing [S.E. Hinton’s] The Outsiders, and one of the questions was about how losing people affected their character, how it changed their choices, how it changed their relationships with others in the book. One of my students, who had recently lost a parent, felt safe enough to say: I actually relate to this because I lost my parent. This student was not one to talk about the situation very much, but they shared that when they lost their parent, they felt that they went through sort of the same thing that Pony Boy went through and the rage that Dally’s going through. The student added, “I think that loss 100% can affect your choices, because I see myself in these characters,” and the other students fell silent. And I’m thinking, “Oh my gosh, his could go one of many ways.” And immediately, a friend of the kid asked, “Does it have to be losing people through death?” I said, no, and then that student shared, “Even though I haven’t lost anyone, I hear you, because I’ve gone through things where I feel like I don’t have anyone at home, and I really rely on my friends to give me the family structure. That helps me understand their character and why they stuck together as The Outsiders; because they were family, they didn’t have a mom and dad that they could rely on.”
And from there, almost everyone jumped in, sharing how they appreciated the relating both students gave, or offering their own experience to share. They came up with something so rich that it can’t be replicated. To see, more than anything, the safety that these kids created with each other, to be able to share these really intense, deep moments and have trust that they were going to be held by their classmates, is beyond anything academic I could hope for. And this is seventh grade! Seventh grade! What a beautiful thing!
What an incredible experience. Were you on the verge of tears?
I had chills. I was crying and trying to keep it together. But I also felt it was okay if they saw me cry; you know, I’m a human being. I don’t need to just sit here like a news reporter. My relationship with my students is much more authentic as well. It’s okay for them to see that I have feelings and that I feel for them and that I love them.
I just want to love these kids, so I feel like teaching English gives me a way to reach them and stay flexible with that. There’s the humanity in all of it.
That is truly beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Our final two questions are slightly less deep. First, what advice would you give to a new teacher who’s on the cusp of starting their first R.E.A.L. Discussion?
I would say start slow and simple. Take a little bit at a time. You don’t have to roll out the whole thing on day one. Liza shared that we should think about the big picture at first. Give them some time to think, discuss, reflect, and give each other shout-outs.
And I would say go with that approach. Then use the hand signals, as they will keep kids on track and prevent them from talking over each other. And also the nonverbal “I agree” sign. Thinking big picture would be the way to start, and then with my seventh graders, we first focused on what it means to Relate, and then we really focused on just Relating in the first discussion. Then, in the second discussion, once we know Relate, we’ll add Excerpt. We roll one skill at a time, then practice. Eventually, they’re doing everything. But I think for at least my seventh graders, it was important that we practice each skill rather than front-load them with everything at first.
Final question: What is inspiring you right now? Do you have a favorite quote or book you’ve been reading?
I do a lot of reading and thinking, but one thing I’ll share isn’t necessarily the most inspiring. We use MAP [Measures of Academic Progress] testing. One of our curriculum leaders was going through the readiness skills with each of the kids, and that gave me an idea. I started thinking about grouping students for discussion questions that target the same skill, but differentiating the questions based on their readiness levels.
So, for example, if we’re working on a theme, Group 1 might focus on What is the theme? Group 2 might look at How is the theme is proven? And Group 3 might explore How does the theme develop? They’re all working on the same overarching skill, but their discussion questions are different.
Then, after working in groups, everyone returns to the whole-class discussion to share their evidence. That way, all students get to access the text and the learning at a level that’s right for them. Everyone’s part of the same conversation; they’re learning from each other, but the differentiation gives each student a real stepping stone into the discussion. That’s something I’ve been inspired by lately and am thinking about trying—it’s a little new for us.
It was so wonderful speaking with you, Anastacia! Thank you for inspiring us with your ideas and innovative and caring approach to discussion!
